Sad Stuff

October used to be Thanksgiving dinner,  pumpkins and oodles of candy. Now it is a reminder of what my family and I have lost.

Three years ago (minus two days), my older sister died from a sudden and completely unexpected illness at the age of thirty-three. At Thanksgiving, just a week and a half before she was sick, I laughed over board games with her and my family. The next- and last- times I saw her she was in a coma from which she never awoke.

To add to the sadness that is October, a beloved colleague passed away from a short sudden illness less than a week ago. My co-workers and I are deeply saddened by the loss of such a bright and wonderful person.

I am further saddened by the news of Amanda Todd's suicide and the shocking, heart-wrenching video about the events that led to her death. My heart goes out to her family and loved ones. I am shocked by what happened to her and the cruelty of her classmates. 

As someone who was definitely not cool in junior high, I can relate to Amanda to a small extent. I was never abused in the ways she was, but the names I was called and the way I was treated continue to cause insecurities to this day. 

Amanda's story reminded me of a truly gut-wrenching novel I read when it first came out in 2011. It is called Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. The story revolves around Hannah Baker, a teenage girl who ended her own life. One of her classmates, reeling from her death, receives a set of cassette tapes from Hannah, in which she chronicles the events that led to her suicide. Clay follows her voice around town, stopping at various sites that affected her as he dissects his own culpability for Hannah's death. Ultimately, Clay must grieve for Hannah, accept that she is gone and try to prevent the tragedy from happening again. Asher uses a dual narrative so that Hannah's voice and emotions mingle with Clay's, creating one powerful narrative. Although it is not a pleasant novel in any way- I kept hoping that there would be some mistake and Hannah would be alive and well- it is an important one. As I learned about the cruelty of her classmates and the inaction of her teachers, I was devastated by the cost to Hannah Baker and the way she gave up on life. It inspired me as an educator to do the best I can to support and care for my students as much as I can.

I hope Amanda's death gives courage to those who are suffering in silence and afraid to share what they are experiencing. I hope her story helps kids and adults alike think about the way their words and actions can affect others.