A tribute to my sister

As I am dealing with some big life changes, my emotions are also closer to the surface as they have been every October since 2009. That was the year I lost my sister. I'm thinking of her a lot lately. I know she would be here for me right now, to support me and lend a helping hand when my life becomes overwhelming. I wrote this poem for my Mum in the winter of 2010. I hope she doesn't mind me posting it here.

I love you Cynthia

The Key

I stand before a garden gate

Set in a wall of gold and pearl.

Priceless treasures within await-

Their fragrance fills the air.

I bask in the glow of golden blooms,

The sunshine streaming down.

I breathe in the flowers’ sweet perfume,

Drink in an eternal dawn.

Yet this beauty pales beside the lure

Of my loved ones living inside-

Their spirits golden, light and pure,

Their faces joyous and bright.

I’ve longed for them since they left

To dwell in this glorious garden.

Yet I know these walls are a refuge, a cleft,

Untouched by pain and death.

With a heavy heart, a tear on my face,

I turn away from those gilded walls.

Yet I know I’ll return to this place

One day when I hear His call.

And in my hand I’ll hold the key

That will open up the door.

They will be there to welcome me

To this ever-blooming garden.

And in His gentle face I’ll see

Love and an end to strife

For He is the giver of the key

That opens the garden of life.

Sad Stuff

October used to be Thanksgiving dinner,  pumpkins and oodles of candy. Now it is a reminder of what my family and I have lost.

Three years ago (minus two days), my older sister died from a sudden and completely unexpected illness at the age of thirty-three. At Thanksgiving, just a week and a half before she was sick, I laughed over board games with her and my family. The next- and last- times I saw her she was in a coma from which she never awoke.

To add to the sadness that is October, a beloved colleague passed away from a short sudden illness less than a week ago. My co-workers and I are deeply saddened by the loss of such a bright and wonderful person.

I am further saddened by the news of Amanda Todd's suicide and the shocking, heart-wrenching video about the events that led to her death. My heart goes out to her family and loved ones. I am shocked by what happened to her and the cruelty of her classmates. 

As someone who was definitely not cool in junior high, I can relate to Amanda to a small extent. I was never abused in the ways she was, but the names I was called and the way I was treated continue to cause insecurities to this day. 

Amanda's story reminded me of a truly gut-wrenching novel I read when it first came out in 2011. It is called Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. The story revolves around Hannah Baker, a teenage girl who ended her own life. One of her classmates, reeling from her death, receives a set of cassette tapes from Hannah, in which she chronicles the events that led to her suicide. Clay follows her voice around town, stopping at various sites that affected her as he dissects his own culpability for Hannah's death. Ultimately, Clay must grieve for Hannah, accept that she is gone and try to prevent the tragedy from happening again. Asher uses a dual narrative so that Hannah's voice and emotions mingle with Clay's, creating one powerful narrative. Although it is not a pleasant novel in any way- I kept hoping that there would be some mistake and Hannah would be alive and well- it is an important one. As I learned about the cruelty of her classmates and the inaction of her teachers, I was devastated by the cost to Hannah Baker and the way she gave up on life. It inspired me as an educator to do the best I can to support and care for my students as much as I can.

I hope Amanda's death gives courage to those who are suffering in silence and afraid to share what they are experiencing. I hope her story helps kids and adults alike think about the way their words and actions can affect others.

A perfect start to your day

I've decided to expand this blog. While books are and will always be important to me, there are so many other things I'd like to talk about: teaching, everyday experiences, food, animals and travel. So I've decided that while books will continue to be a big part of this blog, I'm not going to limit myself to one small subset of my life. Hopefully, this will help me keep this blog more up to date.

This morning my husband and I hit the gym then went out for breakfast. I absolutely love breakfast and I'm always looking for that perfect breakfast spot, beyond the boring and often questionable big chains. As a vegetarian, breakfast is great because there are always choices for me, unlike going out for lunch or supper. I love being torn between a few choices rather than being stuck with the one thing on a menu that is vegetarian.  Ryan and I have tried a few contenders and here are my favourites in Calgary. Coming soon...my favourites in Edmonton.

The Main Dish: Since doing personal training at In Bridgeland, Ryan and I have become regulars at this great place just down the block from our gym. The Main Dish is an unusual concept in that it has both casual dine-in and gourmet take out options. The take-out section features cold items that you can re-heat at home. Ryan's faves are the sundried blueberry turkey burgers and I like the Apricot Quinoa for easy lunches. Their take-out choices seem quite pricey, but when you consider the quality of ingredients, it would probably not be too inexpensive to make at home either. As for the dine-in choices, the prices are great and the food is amazing, especially the brunch items. Their veggie omelette is the best I've ever had, especially when you add mushrooms. Ryan likes their stuffed French toast that is basically a Monte Cristo done up as French toast. Their coffee (according to friends- I don't drink coffee) is amazing and I like their premium loose tea and London  Fogs.

Reds- Located on 17Ave, this popular breakfast spot is worth the wait outside. And plan to wait at least 30 minutes, though they will bring you coffee while you wait. All the food is locally sourced and made with premium ingredients. Their buckwheat blueberry pancakes are amazing! I also really love the classic 2 egg, toast and hashbrowns breakfast. They serve Mighty Leaf tea, which is one of the few bagged teas I will drink. I recommend the Green Tea Tropical. The only criticism I have of Reds is their service, but considering how busy it is, it is understandable. Basically, you should go for the food and expect decent but not amazing service.

Blue Star Diner- Just down the street from the Main Dish is a spot we tried today. Every time I drive by I see a crowd waiting outside so I knew it had to be good. And it was fantastic! Ryan got the stuffed French toast, stuffed with mushrooms and gruyere, and I had the veggie Eggs Benedict. I was a little disappointed that they didn't have a veggie eggs Benny on the menu, considering they have 4 types of veggie burgers (so excited to try them). But my friendly waitress was happy to accommodate by suggesting tomato and avocado as a substitute for the meaty bennies. The result was delicious! I substituted fresh fruit for the hashbrowns and it was a lovely melody of oranges, blackberries, grapefruit, strawberries and raspberries. Ryan stuck with the hashbrowns and they were really good and nicely crispy.  One of the regulars advised us while we were waiting outside to come around 9ish to avoid waiting for a table. Like Reds, they will bring you coffee to make the wait a little better.

We're happy to have found some fabulous restaurants for brunch in Calgary. Hopefully, we will keep adding more to the list. What are your favourites?

Sisters and friends

Sisterhood. It's really a strange relationship, filled with tears, laughter and the odd screaming match. If you're like me, your sister fills some of your most intense memories, good, bad and silly. When I lost my sister to a sudden illness two years ago, I realized that she was my best friend. It's sad that I didn't know it until she was gone. We were very different and we drove each other crazy, but she was my sister, my buddy, my co-conspirator, my scapegoat, my confider and my friend. I miss her every day.

Recently I read Love, Aubrey by Suzanne LaFleur. It is a powerful juvenile novel about a young girl who is transformed by loss. Her younger sister dies in the story, and I found myself sobbing as I identified with her anger, grief and confusion. The novel was cathartic for me, for it seems that the loss of a sibling is seldom discussed. It is such an unusual relationship; our siblings are our past, present and future. Losing one is truly like losing a part of yourself. Aubrey's story resonated with me as she coped with her loss, grieved and ultimately moved forward. The most moving parts of the story reduced me to a little girl, missing her big sister.

To e-read or not to e-read?

When e-books first came out, I was quite resistant to the whole idea. I couldn't imagine giving up so-called "real books" to read a soulless, uninviting electronic file.  As time went by, I gradually opened my mind to the whole idea. As a fast reader, I often brought several books with me on vacation (this didn't work so well when I was flying). I wanted the practicality of bringing a dozen books with me without taking up so much space. My husband sure didn't enjoy stopping constantly on road trips to buy books and it just seemed like the smarter way to go.  I wasn't willing to give up my "pretty" books- my shelf full of old hardcover books just can't be replaced by an electronic shelf- but for the everyday read it seemed like a great option. Once I embraced the e-reading movement,  I started thinking about what type of  device to buy. At first I only considered  the e-reader options but when the tablets started to come out, I wondered if that would be a better way to go.

I am not good at making decisions and I was torn. I loved the idea of the "smart ink" technology on many E-readers since it would seem more like a real book, but I also loved the functionality and practicality of the tablets. My laptop, at four years of age, was a bit of a senior citizen and my techno-savvy husband recommended the ipad for its high quality and great features. I started to lean towards the tablet side of the question and although I considered other brands, the ipad2 just seemed to be the best option for me. My husband very kindly bought me one for my birthday in July and I love it!  I take it with me wherever I go and I use it constantly, particularly for reading and for the internet. Sometimes I wish I had chosen an e-reader because there can be glare on the screen when you are reading outside or in the car, but I absolutely love the other features of the ipad. One great feature is  the fact that I am not limited to one merchant; I can purchase books from ibooks, Amazon and Kobo. I love this because I can shop around for the best price and use a variety of gift cards. Sometimes I have to check all three just to find the book I'm looking for so it works well to have the choice. I would consider that a significant drawback if I could only buy from one merchant because of the e-reader brand.

One of the perks of e-books is the price. For example, when I decided to read the Game of Thrones series, I found the first four books for $15.00 on Amazon. You can't beat that. Or when the last Jack Reacher book came out, I was able to purchase it for only $12.00 (rather than the $30 in stores) and my husband and I were able to read it at the same time, on different devices. As well, I can borrow books from the public library without having to leave my home and I never get overdue fees since the books are removed automatically from my device.

Although I will continue to buy hardcover classics to decorate my living room, it feels very liberating to stop cluttering up my house with books I probably won't read again. I have embraced it wholeheartedly and I don't plan to go back.  Anyone who is resistant to the e-book movement, keep an open mind. You just might love it!

Not your typical dracula novel

I was looking for a new book to read at my local bookstore. I don't like to go to the bookstore with nothing in particular in mind because I usually end up buying something that fails to deliver. The book ends up sitting on my shelf collecting dust after that initial read and I experience buyer's remorse. Because I was desperate for a new book, I took the chance- and I'm so happy I did! I stumbled upon Elizabeth Kostova's The Historian and it is a winner.

The Historian is written in the style of a Victorian gothic novel, yet is is immensely readable. Kostova delivers layer upon layer of suspense at just the right pace, which kept me glued to the pages. A young girl follows her father across Europe, learning as she does so about her parents's mysterious contacts with the bloodthirsty noble believed to be long dead- no other than Vlad the Impaler. Immersing herself in her father's fascinating story, she finds herself increasingly in danger from the unbelievable evil her father has discovered.
 Like Morton's The Forgotten Garden, the story is told from the perspective of several characters over a long period of time. Their stories weave together, sometimes abstractly, piecing together cohesively at the end. Yet it couldn't be more different from Morton's novel-in short, The Historian is a vampire novel. Before you lose interest, you should know that this is no twilight or Sookie Stackhouse novel. Instead it is literary, heavily researched and so enjoyable to read. Mingled with the supernatural and suspenseful elements are historical details about the Ottoman Empire and Eastern Europe. This novel might even teach you an historical fact or two. If vampire novels aren't your thing- keep an open mind. This is surprisingly light on gore and oh so good! This book has put me in the mood to read Bram Stoker's Dracula and  Kostova's newest novel, The Swan Thieves. Happy Reading!

Another winner by Katherine Morton

Don't you love those books that you just can't put down? The ones that you devour in a single sitting? The ones that you anticipate getting back to when you have to put them down?

Katherine Morton is that kind of author for me. I have read her books eagerly and they provide a welcome escape from daily life. Her books combine mystery, tragedy, suspense and romance in just the right combination that keeps you fully immersed in the story. My favourite Morton novel is The Forgotten Garden, a novel that I have recommended to other readers. I love the way she tells the story across several generations, through the voices of various strong female protagonists. I especially love the way she incorporates fairy tales into the novel, using them to help the reader piece the story together. And though I figured out the biggest mystery before it was revealed in the final pages, it did not fail to capture me.

Morton's newest novel, The Distant Hours, delivers another great story of passion and tragedy and family relationships. Elements of the gothic seep into the story, setting an intense pace at times. Again, the story takes place across several generations; a young woman tries to learn more about her mother by visiting the castle where her mother was billeted as a child during World War II. By interviewing the elderly sisters who inhabit the castle, Edie learns about her mother, while also solving an old unsolved mystery. Again, Morton uses stories to set the tone; a haunting children's book is the basis for the mystery of the novel. While she uses the same formulas in each of her novels, the stories are fresh and it feels like you can connect to the many protagonists who each help to unravel the mystery.

I look forward to continued work by Katherine Morton; I only hope that she can continue to incorporate new story lines so that her work does not become simply a tried and true formula.